mommy loves chu-ball, too

welcome back to the gary pigg talk show. i am your host, as always, gary pigg. today's topic is chuy!

yes, it's true: mommy does have just as much love for chuy as she does for me. i'm here to present some proof...

the images in this post are hand selected by mommy as the most favorite of her recent pics of my brother chuy. the first photo is of mommy and chuy, the second is a close-up of chu-chu just minutes later.

WAIT! STOP! i am sure many of you are immediate satisfaction types (i have some of those in my family, so i understand), but out of respect for the story-telling process, i am asking you to please refrain from scanning down to image #2 before you read everything first.

that being said, i won't blame anyone for seeing image #2 and rushing to judge chu-bear as some kind of savage carnivore who wears proof of his prey on his face. hells to the NO, for all the gods' sake! remember, cavies are vegetarians, so what you see on chuy's chin can't possibly be blood. please refer back to the first photo, where you'll see that mommy is feeding chuy our very most favorite ever treat: RED PEPPER!!!!!!! chuy and i inhale chunks of red pepper as quickly as our colombian cousins inhale cocaine (from what i'm told).

so, anyway, in photo #2, chuy appears as though he has a beard of blood, which of course it isn't....but i now have a great idea for chu's halloween costume!! muah ha ha ha ha!! check out his little tongue. ha!

oh hell no!!!

welcome back to the gary pigg talk show. as always, i am your host, gary pigg. today's topic is freaky pigs!

i just read this story on bbc about how in 2007, designer guinea pigs were the latest fashion accessory among socialites. having the love of a socialite is nothing new to me, of course; my mom runs in the best circles. (speaking of circles, did you know that guinea pigs do not run on wheels like small rodents do, as we're not rodents #1, and #2, we have very sensitive spines and can't get in those back-bending positions.) but going places in mommy's purse? no, no, no. that would not be fun for me at all. i prefer not be bumped around inside a bag. i don't think i could relax that way, and you already know how skittish my kind can be. i hope mommy doesn't read this and think that hauling me around is a good idea. where would i peep and poop??

but lets get to the other major point here: designer guinea pigs?! lemme tell ya, i never met one of these guys, and i don't want to. look:


i mean for crying out loud! that thing is NOT cute, and he definitely doesn't look happy. he's probably freezing to death! my fur is really thick and even i get cold. it's like those naked cats that have to sit on heat pads all the time. those crazy kitties ain't happy.

all that being said, i began to wonder what i would look like naked, er, hairless. if that piggie up there had hair, his hair would be black where his skin is black, and white where his skin is white. we're that simple. i would probably be really cool looking naked, come to think of it. browns, black, and white in all random places. oh jesus, mommy, don't shave me, i beg of you. there are other ways to see what i would look like hairless... use your creativity to photoshop one of the zillion photos you have of me. that piggie up there isn't shaved, he was a spdeial breed created for testing in europe. hense, the expression, to be a guinea pig in an experiment.

time to nap....this has been exhausting.

famous guinea pig owners, volume 2

welcome back to the gary pigg talk show. i am your host, as always, gary pigg. hi! wee-eet wee-eet!!

before revealing who we chose to be the 2nd subject of "famous guinea pig owners," i first want to thank you--the fans--for making this TGPTS's most successful series debut to date! this new project has proven to be much more educational than i expected, but even more surprising is how much i love researching and learning all this history stuff! mommy teaches us lots of important things; however, her lifelong lack of interest in history, coupled with the subsequent deficiency in her historical knowledge, makes history a rare topic of discussion. (see mommy's own blog for the psychological analysis...) but even mommy loves this new project and is absorbing all the random historical facts we're collecting. but enough about the project, here's the latest issue:

teddy roosevelt not only had several guinea pigs, he also wrote about them in letters that were published in the book "theodore roosevelt's letters to his children." according to sources, roosevelt's "deep and abiding love of children, of family and home—this was the dominating passion of his life. Whenever he was separated from them—in the Spanish War, or on a hunting trip, or because they were at school—he sent his children these messages of constant thought and love, for they were never for a moment out of his mind and heart." in one such letter to e.s. martin, roosevelt wrote:

"...Did I ever tell you about my second small boy's names for his Guinea pigs? They included Bishop Doane; Dr. Johnson, my Dutch Reformed pastor; Father G. Grady, the local priest with whom the children had scraped a speaking acquaintance; Fighting Bob Evans, and Admiral Dewey."

bob evans? mommy LOVES bob evans!

careful what you eat....

welcome back to the gary pigg talk show, man. i am your groovy host, gurry pigg. ha! that sounds funny. gurry pigg. ha! today's topic is....wait, what were we talking about? i feel so woozy! i ate some herbs off the floor right under mommy's chair. now all i can do is lay here and eat. i'll try again later, dude...

famous guinea pig owners, volume 1

queen elizabeth the 1st was among the first guinea pig owners in all of europe. stay tuned...

my latest cool pic: rasta-gary-an.

there's something about rubber...

i love to chew on rubbery things. the "cool feet" for the laptop (exhibits 1 & 2), the tips of mommy's hemp sneakers (exhibit 3), the outside of power cords, and even the buttons off the remote controls. oh yes, one of daddy's favorites, we like to chew the buttons on any remote control (exhibits 4 & 5), whether it be a remote for the TV, DVR, PS3, stereo, cable...it matters not--we don't discriminate! we do, however, make certain that the buttons maintain their functionality; we're not barbarians, after all! mommy has a great sense of humor about the rubber stuff, especially the remotes; daddy, on the other paw, was soooooooo pissed the first time he saw the chewed up remote that i actually mistook him for a rabid 'coon! he was all foaming at the mouth and everything!! mommy tends to forget that we love the rubber buttons, 'cause she will still leave a remote on the floor every once in a while....yummy!

i guess we like plastic, too. mommy put down this green plastic mat that came with our play-pens (in our house they're just used as gates to keep us out of hard-to-reach places). i guess their purpose is to make for easier clean-up/protect floors, but we just chew on ours. it isn't as though our poop is messy. jeesh!!

mom's not sure if we just chew on these things or if we actually ingest, as i don't usually leave any residue of what i've chewed away... she's thinking there'd be some bits of rubber on the ground, but she doesn't find any.... i guess i must be eating it. well, i ain't dead yet, right?!

one of us chewed on the "cool feet" that keep the laptop elevated (exhibits 1 & 2)....

the hemp shoes....before they were chewed. mmmm, hemp! too bad i was only into the rubber.... (exhibit 3)

the remote exhibit...can you tell which buttons we chewed off?? mommy altered the photos to highlight the destruction; she also had to color the pause button with a Sharpie. (exhibits 4 & 5)

the longest four days ever

mommy and daddy went to uncle michael's wedding in california over last weekend. oh my gosh, i missed them so much! we are so lucky that auntie hez and unc chad volunteered (well, auntie hez volunteered) to let us camp out at her house--we had a very nice time. they have a cat, who actually left us alone. at first i was mad that mommy didn't forewarn me about boo boo, but maybe i would have been really scared for no reason... i don't think she even knew we were there. we didn't get much of a chance to run around like we do at home... we tried, but we were too nervous about the new surroundings, so chuy and i mostly stayed in our cage. that ended up being great because chuy and i were forced to bond even more than we had before. he is still a pain in the butt (and loves to follow my butt), but he's growing on me for sure.

unfortunately, i think the absence made chuy go back to being even more skittish. he will get close to mommy if that's where the food is, but he is still sent flying once she coughs. food goes everywhere, it's a hot mess. chuy is a hot mess. for reals...

tomorrow maybe i'll post some pictures and tell you about my motorboating!